


Mission Parameters

by FantasticallyTragical



Series: An Odyssey of Remembrance [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Amnesia, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes is a sad raccoon, Bucky remembering, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucky - Freeform, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, You can read it as slash if you want, i guess, it's friendship, it's not, it's really not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9323975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasticallyTragical/pseuds/FantasticallyTragical
Summary: The man doesn't remember who he is or what he's done. His mind is empty, memories gone... The sound of a voice, the flash of a smile, the image of a face... these things invade his mind, almost meaningless, riddled with a faint sense of significance. Who is he? Where is he? What is he?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Параметры миссии](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608095) by [Christoph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christoph/pseuds/Christoph), [fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017/pseuds/fandom_EvanstanStarbucks_2017)



_ Who am I? What am I doing?  _ A face with blue eyes and blonde hair and an infuriating smirk. Someone important. Someone he misses.  _ Who are you? Do I know you? Do you know me?  _ Someone whose face brings back a vague memory of… of what? Love? Friendship? 

 

**_Longing._ ** _ That's it. Longing. I miss him. Why do I miss him? He's such a punk… a punk…  _ **_WHO AM I?_ **

 

The man startles out of his reminiscing  _ (could I really call it that?)  _ by the sound of his cell phone beeping.  _ A new text message? Who's contacting me?  _ The man had found the phone in his bag. He didn't know why he had kept it. He just had. He glances warily at the screen…

 

Unknown Number: hi, Bucky

 

The man picks up the phone, his senses a haze of confusion. 

 

You: Who the hell is Bucky?

 

_ Why does that sound so familiar to me?  _

 

Unknown Number: that's you. You're Bucky. I'm Steve. Steve Rogers.

 

“Steve?” He says the name slowly, trying to remember. To remember why his mouth is so used to forming that sequence of sounds. An image pops into his head, unbidden. Blue eyes, blonde hair, cocky smirk. “Steve?” His voice is creaky from disuse. 

 

**_Rusted._ ** _ It's rusted, corroded, like my memories. Who is Steve? _

 

You: hello Steve. I don't remember you. I don't know who you are. 

 

The man goes to contacts. He add the number. He titles it ‘Steve’. It looks lonely there, all alone…

 

Steve: That's okay. I didn't think you would.

 

You: What is a Bucky? Is it a name? I don't remember a Bucky 

 

Steve: You are. You are James Buchanan Barnes, my best friend. You were born on March 10, 1917.

 

“March 10, 1917.” That seems… right… familiar even. 

 

**_Seventeen._ ** _ 1917\. I was born on March 10, 1917. That seems… right. He's not lying. I'm James Buchanan Barnes? That doesn't seem quite right. Bucky. Bucky. I'm Bucky? _

 

The man - no,  **Bucky** \- takes out a worn spiral-bound notebook and writes. He writes a date and a name.

 

You: I'm your best friend? What is a best friend? Does this mean there is a lesser Bucky?

 

The phone is silent for a long time. The Man… Bucky… waits. Body stiff, eyes narrowed, mind racing. The phone buzzes, and his heart leaps, like the sun appearing over the horizon.

 

**_Daybreak._ ** _ It's like daybreak.  _

 

Steve: there's only one Bucky who matters to me. I lost him. I lost him a long time ago. A best friend is someone who has my back and I have his.

 

The m- no, Bucky, frowns, confused. 

 

You: Can I keep my back on my body? It sounds painful to remove it, even if I get yours instead.

 

Steve: That was a figure of speech. It means I'll always be there for you, no matter what, and I'll fight whoever tries to get between me and keeping you safe.

 

The corner of Bucky's mouth twitches, his heart, so cold and unfeeling, warning slightly. 

 

**_Furnace._ ** _ It feels like I've been put in a furnace.  _

 

But he's still confused. He can't remember this Steve. The phone buzzes again.

 

Steve: there were nine of us. Our team.

**_Nine_ ** _. Nine of us? Names? Names names names, what were their names?! _

 

You: Who were “we”?

 

Steve: You, James Buchanan Barnes. Me, Steven Grant Rogers. 

 

_ Steven Grant Rogers. Blue eyes, blonde hair, taller than I remember… “You’re taking all the stupid with you.” _

 

Steve: Timothy Aloysius Cadwallader “Dum Dum” Dugan

 

_ Dum Dum Dugan. Blue eyes, reddish mustache, bowler hat… “Bucky, Behind you!” _

 

Steve: James “Jim” Morita…

 

_ Jim Morita… Dark eyes, dark hair, communications officer… “I’m from Fresno, Ace.” _

 

Steve: Gabriel “Gabe” Jones…

 

_ Gabe Jones… Dark eyes, dark skin, dark hair, goatee, Marksman, multilingual… “That… might be tough…” _

 

Steve: Jacques Dernier…

 

_ Jacques Dernier… French, dark hair… “My people were resisting the Nazi occupiers in Marseilles.”  _

 

Steve: James Montgomery Falsworth…

 

_ James Falsworth… Limey, Monty, green eyes, dark hair… “I am… What is left of His Majesty’s 3rd Independent  Parachute Brigade.” _

 

Steve: Peggy Carter…

 

_ Peggy Carter… British, dark hair, dark eyes, Steve’s best girl… “Faster, ladies! My grandmother has more life in her, God rest her soul.” _

 

Steve: And Howard Stark.

 

_ Howard Stark… inventor, dark hair, dark eyes… “The show’s just getting started!” _

 

Bucky doesn’t know. He isn’t sure. His head is spinning. He knew those names, those brief memories of faces and voices, once upon a time… They were familiar,  _ are  _ familiar… But alien to his gutted mind, painful, terrifying, empty… like the winter. He doesn’t remember, he doesn’t remember….

 

**_I DON’T REMEMBER!!!_ **

 

You; If you’ve always been there for me, where have you been? I don’t even know who you are

 

Steve: Someone took you away. I thought you were dead. I’m sorry.

 

The man is… angry? Hurt, lost, scared… He thought this Steve was his friend, harmless, kind… Number one...

 

**_Benign._ ** _ Friendly, important…  _ **_One._ **

 

You: You said you’d fight whoever got between us. Why didn’t you fight who took me?

 

Steve: I’m sorry, Bucky, they told me you were dead. I had a duty, but I’m not much without you. I’m sorry, Bucky, I’m sorry. But you aren’t dead, so I’ll fight this time. I’m sorry.

 

The phone rings, and the man answers it. The voice that speaks to him is shocking, something he remembers… he thinks…

 

“Bucky, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t remember. I don’t remember. I don’t remember…”

“Bucky, It’s me. It’s Steve.”

“I don’t remember Steve. I don’t remember Bucky. I am the Winter Soldier…”

“You’re Bucky. My buddy, my pal, my best friend, my Bucky.”

“Does not comply with mission parameters.” The man doesn’t remember. He only obeys. Who is this voice speaking to him? Who is Bucky? Who is Steve?

“I don’t care. I’m not going to lose you again. Not again, not ever. We’ll find you.”

“Does not comply with mission parameters. Hide and wait.”

“Don’t hang up this phone!”

The Soldier freezes. He does not remember. He only obeys. He does not question orders… why is his mouth moving, why is he speaking? “Who is ‘we’?”

“Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson. My friends. They’ll help me. We’ll find you. We won’t let anyone hurt you again. You’re my friend, my buddy, my Bucky.”

The Soldier remembers the word ‘hurt’. Memories storm into him, painful ones, horrifying ones… “A chair… I don’t have friends…” He hurts. He doesn’t remember. He doesn’t know what a friend is, or a Bucky…

“You remember Natasha?” The voice is speaking again. “Natalia? The Black Widow?”

The man remembers, just a little. Red hair, big eyes, little girls dancing… That name, he knows that name! “Natalia Alianovna Romanova… A member of the Black Widow Program… I...I taught her… We…”

He remembers hair as red as blood, dark eyes too empty for a child’s face, a smile too grim for a child’s lips, a gun too big for a child’s hands. Little girls dancing, little girls fighting, little girls killing… The Red Room… A gun in his hand, the girl with the red hair, older now, her eyes a little less empty, blood staining her shoulder. “... I shot her…”

“She’s okay. Natalia’s fine. She’s helping me find you.”

The Soldier is confused. 

“I’m going to find you, Bucky. I’m going to keep you safe.”

“My mission is to hide and wait.”

“Keeping waiting, then, I’ll find you. I’ll keep you safe.”

“Safe?” The word is foreign on his tongue. The image of a city flashes in his mind, tall buildings, many cars, a back alley, a little boy with a bleeding nose… “Brooklyn?”

“That’s home.”

“...taking all the… What is it? I remember something… a phrase?”

“Taking all the crazy with you. I couldn’t be crazy, because you were taking it all with you.”

“I think…  I don’t know…” His mind is filled with pictures, sounds, feelings, pain… a cocky smirk, a voice, blue eyes… A boy who wheezed, and who coughed, who sometimes was too sick to leave the house… The man remembered… He was falling, he was hurting, he was alone, he was cold and afraid and trying to be brave… A gun in his hands, a smirk on his face… removed, replaced, a mind wiped clean. 

A little girl with red hair… Natalia… A woman now…

A boy with blue eyes… Steve… Taller than the man remembers…

He remembers… He is Bucky… He isn’t the Soldier… He is Bucky… He’s coming home…

**_Homecoming._ **

“Steve?”

“Hi, Bucky.”


End file.
